I miss my home, and my mom, and my cat, and my pesky brothers, and my irritating father, and my frustrating dog.
I miss my elementary where I was teased until I cried, but had friends, and classmates that would play dodge ball at lunch.
I miss my junior high, and the teachers that would trash us with homework, preparing us for high school. I miss my friends who were so wonderful to me, even though they knew that they were the only 2 that I had.
I miss swimming like I could race the wind. I miss feeling like I had the power and courage of a lion. I miss flying over the water, cheering with my teammates who revelled in those moments. I miss the long long bus rides to no where, swimming in a pool that was too cold, or too small, or too dirty, and cheering on the bus ride back from all the simple successes that we'd had.

I miss the friends that I made, and the friends that I didn't make at high school. I miss playing basketball, ping-pong, and chess with my dear friends in high school. I miss the sleepovers that I had, wherein we'd watch movies, and gossip like we should.
I miss walking to school every day, and seeing the mountains calling me. I miss hiking in the mountains with friends and family. I miss skiing with school, and playing hockey with the kids I used to babysit.
I miss horseback riding, and jumping in the waves of the ocean, and re-working winding creeks that ran down beaches.
I miss sitting and chatting with my mom in the kitchen, helping her while she put together dinner, or some dessert, or just sat and chatted with me.

I miss feeling safe being hugged.

I miss playing with friends and not being worried to hell that they were finding more in it than I would ever concieveably imagine. I miss just having friends that I could trust and confide in: ones that I could laugh with, and cry with, and not have to worry about them thinking I relied on them too much, or liked them too much, or anything. I miss being able to ask someone to go play pool, or to go to a coffee house, or to go to a movie without feeling as though I am impedding on their time, or as though they feel more about it than I do. I miss feeling comfortable chatting with someone one on one.
I miss the fact that my friend used to feel safe being cuddly with some of her friends, but is no longer allowed to: not because of her own doing, but because she too is scared that people will think something is there that isn't.
I miss my games, and imagination that I used to let run wild, taking me to places that I will never reach, but relishing every moment of it. I miss pretending to dance above the city lights, and stop time, and start all over again. I miss my dreams where I could hug someone dear to me, and know that it was all a fantasy.
I miss sharing a midnight walk with a good friend of mine. I miss sharing a night of inane banter, and frisbee. I miss feeling joy at his enthusiasm, and sadness at his losses. I miss the friendship that we used to have, and will not have again.

I miss the belief that when I die all of these memories, all of these dreams that I cherish so much, all of them will be with me, forever and always. Above all, this do I miss the most.